Field of Dreams
by RianneChan-YaoiYaoster
Summary: Gintoki's feelings start to get uncontrollable as he thinks of the past of him and Hijikata were together at a firework display and they both shared their feelings for eachother.


** ~ Field of Dreams ~  
**

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Moonlight pierced through the blinds of Gintoki's bedroom. It was about 11:56 in the evening, and Gintoki was wide awake. He'd been awake for hours, unable to sleep by the bitter memories that haunted his mind.

He found that when he was awake his best option was to sleep, in hope of forgetting those memories that had his heart breaking at every thought of the man that plagued his mind, though that hope was crushed. It seemed the dark haired man even tormented him in his dreams.

A specific dream he'd been having for the past few nights and they each had the same ill fated ending...

His break up with Hijikata.

Gintoki shook his head and sat up, he figured the best way to clear his thoughts was to go out, not caring what time it was.

He half-heartedly got dressed, put on his boots and walked out of his dull and gloomy house. Making sure not to wake up his two room-mates, of course.

Gintoki realized after a few minutes of walking, that maybe clearing his thoughts in a dead silent street wasn't the best idea. It seemed to make his thoughts only louder and bolder, and the weight on his heart even heavier.

At some point he was grateful for the small distraction of a shop light that shined alarmingly bright for his liking since his eyes had adjusted to darkness. He stared in thought at the shop, then walked in, on his way to get his favourite snack. A Strawberry Parfait. Oh how he loved the many layers of strawberry flavoured yogurt with alot of whipped cream covered with sweet strawberrys.

The thought of the parfait made his mouth water.

When he got to the counter, the till-man gave him a concerned look... or confused. Agree'd that he must have had the frown of a murderer plastered on his face- and currently buying a Strawberry Parfait probably made the scene look just that more physotic, but was the blank stare really necessary?

He mumbled his thanks and walked out, catching a glimpse of his sour frown in the window before exiting. His frown darkened.

He took the longer route home so he could gaze at the beautiful green fields that seemed so enchanting in the moonlight.

A flash back suddenly ran through his mind like a surge of electricty. All the emotions he had been bottling up for months started to bash agaisnt his skull causing his head to ache and his vision to blur. He couldn't control these feelings that rushed through his head anymore. His eyes wandered over to the lushes of green field. It looked so.. Enchanting.

He thought of walking into the field just to lie there to try to clear his mind, laying in the one place he found comfort to try and cure this heart ache. To dare try and force himself think of happier things.. but that might just make the matter worse... Nothing would ever get rid of this pain he felt. Not even a Strawberry Parfait...

He sighed, all he could think about was him and Hijikata together when they shared their first kiss during the fire-works display.

That was the night when he finally realized his feelings for Hijikata. He'd been feeling foreign things for the man for some time, but it all come together as he silently watched the man next to him in awe. The colors of the fire-works dancing around his frame, making him just that much more breath-taking.

Gintoki's heart pounded painfully against his ribcage at the memory.

He couldn't remember what words were said after, or actions... only one bold action that changed their entire relationship.

The kiss...

It was passionate, filled with supressed and hidden emotion, and it became more deeper as each second passed by. A small smile creeped its way across Gintoki's face as he remembered Kagura's reaction. She, at the time was more than surprised when she'd spotted the two men. "A kiss under the moonlight and fireworks, huh? Didn't think cliche was either of your styles." She snorted, then ran off to buy some cotton candy from a nearby stall.

The smile fell from Gintoki's face. Every second that passed, every minute of everyday, he thought of him. From the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep. Even in his dreams he'd think of Hijikata and the way his lips felt against his. The way that the fireworks seemed to go off with a loud bang. Almost in rhythem with their hearts.

He missed him too much, words simply couldn't describe. It had been almost a year since they broke up, and there wasn't a day that went by where he didn't regret it.

It was all his fault after all.

He began to push Hijikata away when people made weird faces at them when they walked hand in hand down the street. Many of Gintoki's friends began to make fun of him, he knew they were joking, he'd gotten used to their sarcastic humors after a short time of knowing them anyway. But it still made him feel a bit insecure. Hesitant. Like he'd made a big mistake.

Hijikata had told him not to care what others thought as long as they were happy, nothing, or no one else mattered.

Gintoki couldn't get his head around that.

Heavy regret filled Gintoki's heart at every memory when Hijikata was affectionate. Everytime Hijikata would lean in to kiss, Gintoki would always turn his head the other way or begin to cough, anything to get out of kissing his supposed lover.

Gintoki looked away with a sigh and continued walking down the path that lead to the field. Oh, how peaceful it still looked.

He still held his strawberry treat in his hand. He couldn't wait to eat his Parfait.

Or could he?

Right now he didn't know what to feel. He just felt empty. Maybe the more he ate, the less empty he would feel? As he tried to forget about the painful memories of his old love, Hijikata.

The more he thought of him, he just couldn't shake these god damn memories off. Hijikata had already moved on... So why couldn't he?

He opened the gate to the field and lay down on the slightly damp grass, swinging his arms crossed behind his head. He gazed up at the sky and counted each star. Maybe he'd see a shooting star? Maybe he could wish for a second chance with Hijikata.

He scoffed, for that he'd need a miricle.

There was a cool breeze in the wind as it blew Gintoki's silver hair. Everything went pitch black as he started to fall into a dreamy slumber. No matter what it would be, it would always be about Hijikata.

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**A/N**:- This is a short first chapter to give an idea whats goin on. Been edited, sorry for spelling mistakes. Hope you like and please be patient for the next chapter. Do not have a specific date for when it'll be up next.

Edited by **DingDongDenied**

Thanks peeps ~


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